


You're My Medicine

by foggynelson



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-03 18:14:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8725015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: Raphael pulls out his phone and opens up the group chat labeled ‘Boyfriends ♥' and sends a text, letting Jace and Simon know he’s having a panic attack. He’s not sure what they can do about it, but Simon has gotten after him before (in a very kind and loving way) that he needs to talk to them when he’s not doing well.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thisissirius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisissirius/gifts).



Panic attacks are no stranger to Raphael Santiago. If Raphael had to say he had one flaw, it would be this. Although according to his psychologist it's not a flaw, but it's a step away from perfection so what else could it be? Either way, Raphael is used to them. Doesn't mean he likes them or is okay with them but. He's learned to live with them. Most of the time. 

 

It's when they hit him in public that Raphael really hates them. He has his medication always on hand, but he doesn't always carry water with them (no water bottle ever quite matches his ensemble) and often times it's he doesn't have any way of getting water and he can’t dry swallow pills. He tries to rely on the techniques his psychologist has taught him but none of them come to mind when his mind is already racing so fast. All he can manage to do is slightly slow down his breathing.

 

Right now, he knows, in theory, he has every right to get up and get himself water. And he knows that would be the smart thing to do. And yet… Raphael can’t get himself to get up and leave. It’s a college class, he tells himself, just a stupid college class, not even your major. But Raphael’s mother’s voice is there, telling him to do his best in school and missing class wouldn’t be the best, would it? Raphael feels his thoughts jumping and spiraling and he tries so hard to focus on what the professor is saying but he only catches a word here or there.

 

Raphael pulls out his phone and opens up the group chat labeled ‘Boyfriends ♥' and sends a text, letting Jace and Simon know he’s having a panic attack. He’s not sure what they can do about it, but Simon has gotten after him before (in a very kind and loving way) that he needs to talk to them when he’s not doing well. So that’s what he does. He sends the message and goes back to his laptop and tries to take notes. (It doesn’t happen, but he does try.) 

 

It’s five minutes later and the door just behind Raphael opens. He turns and looks and sees Jace standing there, a smile on his face and a bottle of water in his hand. He quietly walks over and sits down next to Raphael. He hands over the water and then proceeds to dig through Raphael’s bag until he finds the medication. He hands that over to Raphael and he takes the pill.

 

Jace looks at him with a smile and Raphael can’t help but smile back, too, even though it’s small and Raphael doesn’t quite feel like smiling at the moment. But he does it still and he notice that he has felt better since Jace has come. How much of that is the medication and how much of it is just Jace’s presence, Raphael isn’t sure. Either way, he’s very grateful to have Jace in his life.

 

The rest of the class goes by a little less painfully slow and Raphael feels a little better as the time progresses. His mind clears some and his breathing normalizes. Jace places his hand on Raphael’s knee and the light touch feels warm and grounds him.

 

When the class ends, Raphael packs up his bag and Jace and him hold hands as they walk out. It’s cold outside and Raphael is grateful he’s wearing his favourite jacket. They walk just a few yards before they run into Simon. He has a cup carrier with three drinks, as well as another drink in his hand.

 

“Hot chocolate for you,” Simon says, pointing at the cup close to Raphael, which he takes. “And black coffee for you,” he tells Jace. “And an extra coffee for me because I am too tired and too cold to be awake.”

 

“You know it’s like, noon, right?” Jace points out.

 

“Yes, I do know. It’s too early. Do you know how late I was up last night writing my new song? Four in the morning. If Maureen doesn’t love it, I’m gonna flip.”

 

“Flip? Really, Simon?” Jace replies with a laugh.

 

“Oh shut up.” Simon bumps shoulders with his lightly. “And how are you doing, Raph?” he asks, turning towards the other.

 

“Better,” Raphael says.

 

“Okay good because I was thinking we go back to my place, I make us some lunch, and we all cuddle up and watch some cartoons.”

 

The idea sounds nice. Food and his favourite people. Part of Raphael feels like he really should just go, lock himself in his room or the library, and just study the rest of the day. But there’s a small part of Raphael that knows he needs a break, knows that spending this time with his boyfriends would actually be good for him.

 

So, afraid if he opens his mouth the word ‘no’ will slip out, Raphael just nods yes. Simon beams and grabs his hand and the three walk off.  


**Author's Note:**

> I love jasaphael so much. I love this ot3. I am just so glad it exists and has come to save us all. Comments, as always, are very good and lovely thank you!!!


End file.
